A method for two gentlemen to greet each other without having to feel gay.

A Thug Hug & the Hetero-Arm-Barrier is what I like to call the hug that guys give when they lock fists, then give a one-armed hug, while utilizing their locked hands as an anti-homosexual barrier between their bodies.

It is believed that this barrier keeps all gay thoughts and contact away from the parties and therefore allows them the closeness of a body-touching hello without the remorse.

Being homophobic myself, I enjoy the Thug Hug & the Hetero-Arm-Barrier a lot. When my roommate from college moved away, we wanted the ability to say goodbye in a meaningful way, but not to the point that a normal “double-armed” hug would be.

That being said, I wonder if gay people participate in using the Thug Hug & the Hetero-Arm-Barrier? If so, what would be the point? Don’t they enjoy the feeling of another man against their body? I don’t know, but I don’t think us “straighties” should keep this masterful gift to ourselves.

So, here and now, I proclaim that the Thug Hug & the Hetero-Arm-Barrier is free for all to use. Gay, straight or Catholic. Use it and enjoy it.

That is all.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 9th, 2008 at 7:35 am and is filed under Doing Things, People. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.