The Olympics are over now and I thought I should probably complain about them some.

Opening Ceremony. Amazing, amazing. There was no reason to CG fireworks. It was cool enough on its own. You ruined it.

Michael Phelps. Never heard of this guy prior to the Olympics. He is frickin rad.

Rhythmic Gymnastics. Hula-hoops, ribbons, batons. Wow, is this the Olympics or third grade?

Men’s Volleyball. Impressive, but there’s no way for me to think of men playing volleyball without gay connotations.

US Track Relay Teams. Learn to hold a baton. Seriously. Maybe the Rhythmic Gymnastic teams can give you some pointers.

Chinese Underage Olympians. Who cares.

That old guy coach who commentates after gymnastics, but you can’t understand him. That guy is awesome. He doesn’t care who he pisses off.

Water Polo. Stop being super-human machines that tread water for hours on end.

BMX. Hey, X-Gaymes, take note. You can have “extreme-sports” events without Mountain Dew bastardized all over it.

Divers. I wish I could consider the possibility of having the balls to do 3 1/2 flips.

Bolt. You are the fastest man I’ve ever seen. Please race a cheetah.

China. Free Tibet you Commies.

Overall, this was one of the first times that I’ve actually sat and watched multiple Olympic events and there were some interesting moments. Plus, most events are better than the shite that NBC normally has on anyway.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, August 24th, 2008 at 9:16 pm and is filed under Sports. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.