Starbuck’s Drive-Thru
The worst part is that I don’t even drink coffee.
There are few things in this world more annoying than the 14 minute monologue presented by the drive-thru employee at Starbucks.
I’d like to preface this review by pointing out that coffee is just plain terrible. It smells like crap, tastes like crap and smells like crap.
So, I happen to be a wonderful husband and go through the pain of paying for a $30 cup of dirt water with some caramel mixed, but then I have to listen to your rant?
“It’s a great day at Starbucks, we’ve got a lot of stupid expensive terrible tasting stuff on sale, but since we have a ridiculous markup in the first place, we will still be making an obscene amount of money off of your denied addiction to caffeine, my name is [insert name of girl with short blond hair and thick glasses here], how can I help you on this great day at Starbucks in York?”
That, of course, was shortened for carpal tunnel’s sake.
Honestly, I don’t care to hear you tell me this elaborate tale. I just want to say my 40-name drink to you and then move on in line. Granted, I will just be moving up to the window where your monologue is now blasted awkwardly into my face. Starbucks has convinced people that their having slow service is actually just them “taking time to make your drink correct”. Well put. Even I couldn’t have come up with such a great excuse for having poor service.
So you get to the window, have to sit and wait for your drink and then get the third degree from the aforementioned girl with short blond hair and thick glasses. Where are you from, where are you going, does your dog want a Starbucks dog biscuit?
That’s right. They have a friggin box of dog biscuits to give out if you have a dog in your car. Why not give out something useful, like perhaps urinal cakes with Starbucks logos on them so I have something to aim at next time I have to piss?
Starbucks is a huge waste of money, but if you go through the drive-thru, you will also have a huge waste of time to deal with.
February 4th, 2009 at 7:25 am
Man, now I want some coffee.
February 4th, 2009 at 9:09 am
Wow, sounds like someones a bit cranky…do the world a favor and go back to bed. And if it’s such a pain for you I’m sure your wife is perfectly fine getting her own coffee. I’d hate to be married to you! Glad SHE took ya.
February 4th, 2009 at 10:08 am
Honestly, I think that the York Starbucks is the only one I have been to where they say the “It’s a great day” thing.
February 4th, 2009 at 10:16 am
I have to piss.
February 4th, 2009 at 10:25 am
Grand island starbucks has not ceased to make my day every day excelent service and excelent coffee! They also say we are having a great day!
February 4th, 2009 at 11:07 am
I think your right. In Omaha we have emo kids serving the coffee, and they never talk. Don’t worry though, York will be introduced to emo around the year 2015, it just takes time.
February 4th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Hey Donna, check out the name of my website.
February 4th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
This post is exactly what every post should be like. This post is Mr. Complain.
February 6th, 2009 at 3:53 pm
I agree with Donna. You are a horrible person and an even worse husband.
February 8th, 2009 at 7:09 am
Apparently you have been married before, eckert, since multiple people seem to know that you are in fact a bad husband? Damn X’s are always haters. Go buy some chocolate cake and hot fudge to make yourselves feel better, bitches.
February 10th, 2009 at 8:40 am
Eckert, once again well done.
I love coffee, and Starbucks does a decent job, but SRSLY PPLZ! I drink black coffee. Why? Because I like coffee. If I wanted to ingest sugar and fat, I’d dip butter sticks in the sugar jar and eat that. I love how Starbucks is supposed to be this Mecca for coffee lovers, but really it’s just a place for suburbanites, like Donna, to convince themselves that they’re hip and cool. Newsflash, you’re neither hip nor cool–especially you, Mr. LAtte and you’re “excelent” spelling.