Halloween
I love Halloween, but I do have a few issues with it.
There are three main issues I have with Halloween. They are as follows.
1. Freeloaders
Now, I love giving out candy, that’s really not the problem. I do have some requirements, though. You need to be under the age of 15 or at least have a kid that young with you. Otherwise, you are just pathetic.
You also need to wear a costume. I don’t care if you cut some holes in a sheet (ghost, not KKK), at least pretend to have put in the effort of a costume.
2. Perfect murder scenario
If you met someone who’d never heard of Halloween and told them that you were to see a person with a machete and a hockey mask walking up to your house, and that you openly welcomed them in for candy, they’d think you were crazy. And you might be.
This man/kid walked up to our house with just such an outfit. As I opened the door, I thought, “Wait, what if this man/kid isn’t here for candy, but here for murder?” That may be an unlikely scenario, but really think about it. A crazed serial killer would have the easiest time offing people during Halloween because he could just walk around and people would let him into their houses.
3. Crazy religious people who refuse to partake in any of that Devil holiday
Get over it. There is more Wal-Mart involved with Halloween than there is the Devil. Granted, that is scary and arguably is a reason to boycott it, but seriously.
Halloween, no matter where it came from or what some lame goth kids do on that night, is a fun time for kids to wear wacky costumes and get free candy.
If you are against it, maybe you should go spend your time celebrating Columbus Day to really be stoked about the rape, murder and pillage of the Native Americans by the Europeans.
That’s fun for the whole family.
November 2nd, 2008 at 4:36 pm
Great post…you redeem yourself for the last one.
By the way, that’s how I celebrate Columbus Day…you must’ve looked in my day planner.
November 5th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
I prefer Amerigo Vespucci.